Musings and Consequences
by The Lazy Bitch
Summary: Haruhi's thoughts about being left out and lied to, as well as those of the people who alienated her in the first place, as she unknowingly creates a new universe for herself. She'll be able to find happiness now... right? [I regret nothing.]


**I REGRET NOTHING, NOR DO I OWN IT.**

**Anyway, I kinda got this idea and just HAD write it. Don't judge me. |||OTL**

**Oh, and, if you're wondering, I only picked Koizumi for the POV in the middle 'cause his thoughts are fair game for all FFN writers, them being a mystery and all. It makes things easier for me. :L**

**Sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes. .-.**

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Haruhi Suzumiya: Not So Oblivious

_It's not fair._ Haruhi thought as she stared at the computer screen with bored eyes, half-heartedly stalking the internet for any mentions of aliens, ESPers and time travelers. _Not fair at all._

The SOS brigade was _supposed_ to be having a meeting right now, but none of the members were showing up. All of them said they had something important to do… that's been happening a lot lately. Truth be told, it's she's never really been particularly close to any of them, but it's gotten worse since they've started their third year as a club. It's like they're keeping something from her… something that, unlike most things she looks into, she really _does_ deserve to know, maybe even more than theydo.

**_What made you think they'd want to be your friends in the first place?_**

The brunet cringed at the voice cackling inside her head, but acknowledged it nonetheless. For all the five years it's been laughing at her, it's never been wrong, and it was true, after all, that they didn't really like her.

Haruhi Suzumiya was no fool; she could tell the 'kindness' they showed her was forced. Koizumi, Asahina and Nagato seem to work for 'something', and Kyon… either he's around her to 'protect' the other female members of the brigade from her, or he's being forced to stay by the others; maybe even both. Is someone who's there for her because they WANT to be really that much to ask for…?

**_Who'd ever want to be with YOU? You're nothing but trouble!_**

The girl hugged her knees to her chest, ignoring how uncomfortable such a position is while on a chair, and buried her face in them, eyes squeezed shut. For the first time in months, Haruhi Suzumiya was crying.

"Shut up… please… just shut up…"

It was pathetic, really, for her to break down like that. But can she really be blamed? She's only a teenager, and yet she's living in a fractured fake world. If those around her are going to pretend to like her, can't they at least do a better job at it? Yes… if only she could recreate the universe in her own image… somewhere fun and happy where no one's ever alone or left out… a world where people like you for who you are… wouldn't that be nice?

"If I knew it'd hurt so much, I wouldn't have tried to make friends with them in the first place…"

If she was in a stable state of mind, she would've noticed the world around her start to fade away into nothingness before reappearing, unscathed. Unfortunately, all she could recognize was the painful rasp of the mad voice in her head.

**_That's what you get for getting your hopes up~ Hah!_**

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Itsuki Koizumi: More Oblivious than You'd Think

Koizumi ran through the school, desperate to reach the club, where Haruhi was sure to be. To think missing a club meeting to attend a lecture given to ESPers of the organization would lead to this…

Why was this happening? He was doing so well with keeping Haruhi in the dark about her powers, so why? Why was the current world fading away, and why so fast? This kind of thing… it's never happened so fast before, so what happened to trigger it? And, more importantly, what had he done wrong?

_I don't understand… what could she want…?_

He didn't see what could be bothering Haruhi. Him, Nagato, Asahina and Kyon have been following her crazy whims and humoring her antics, even if they were absurd…

Then it hit him, stopping the boy dead in his tracks.

Yes, he's done the research, and yes, he knows a lot more about 'god' than the others, but all this time…

_I've never made the effort to get to know Haruhi Suzumiya as a person._

It was so obvious! How could he not have seen it? All she wanted… was something real. Something new and exciting and _real._ She may be all-powerful, but she's still just a human, and a lonely human at that! Of course she'd break!

_How did I miss something so obvious…? How?_

And the sad part was that… well… he probably really COULD understand and be there for her, if he just tried. Being alone, being different, being alienated… he may not have been locked outside of the loop like she was, but he wasn't exactly close to the others either… they would've been great friends; maybe even more… yet, because he- no. Because _all of them_ forgot about the small fact that Haruhi Suzumiya is as much of a living thing as they themselves are…

_I'll never even have the chance to honestly talk to her._

At this moment, the rest of the SOS Brigade was onto a very similar line of thought.

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The SOS Brigade: Forever and Always

Haruhi grinned her Cheshire cat grin, one of the people in front of her groaning at the idea she proposed (more like stated; the other girl doesn't get a choice). It's not that she doesn't want to find supernatural things, though; it's just gonna be a butt-load of work.

"But Haruhiiii…" the short girl with long purple hair and icy, monochromatic eyes whined. "I don't wannaaaaa…!"

"Now, now, Kyomi…" soothed the average height girl with short green hair and matching eyes, a slight smirk playing on her lips. "You wouldn't want the death penalty, would you?"

"EEP! No!" Kyomi jumped to her feet, knowing full well that the death penalty's a pain in the butt, before relaxing. "Don't joke about that stuff, Itoko…"

"You have to admit it was funny." deadpanned a somewhat pale young man, slightly taller than average, with black hair and gray eyes behind delicate glasses, not letting his gaze stray from the Gameboy in his hands.

"Yumiki, that's mean…" a much smaller boy, almost as short as Kyomi, with innocent pink eyes and hair, matched with feminine features, sweatdropped.

"It's still true, Mikari."

"Still…"

"Yeah, you tell him, Mikari!" Kyomi cheered.

They all laughed.

'Kyomi' is usually the butt of everyone's joke, but nothing is ever meant or implied by it; Itoko Komiki is an internet troll with a surprising heart of gold; Yukimi Nagimura acts like he only cares about his video games, yet gladly comes out of his shell around his few friends; and Mikari Asarami is a timid boy with a love of female clothes (which Haruhi and Itoko gladly embrace). These people, along with Haruhi Suzumiya herself, make up the SOS Brigade, and they're everything she could ever want.

So why, even when she's so happy and living a peaceful life with these wonderful people, does she feel like she's forgetting something?

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**Please excuse the OOCness. It was a necessary sacrifice.**


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